Friday, April 28, 2006

Trump Gets Fired Up About Design

On this past week's episode of The Apprentice, the teams got to work with a real live Graphic Designer to design a brochure. Mr. Trump seems to work with a designer himself when putting together these project briefs.
Here is what it sounds like when Donald Trump says the illustrious phrase, graphic designer.
Feel free to put that into iTunes and randomly spice up any playlist with the inspirational tones of the Donald's voice.

So the underdog team, Gold Rush, was paired up with a graphic design dude from bsquared design & printing. How do we know the name of the company? Their name and logo was featured in the background of no less than 5 different shots:


I always get the feeling that when these companies find out they are going to be featured on the Apprentice, they run out to Kinko's and get a bunch of giant logos printed out and tape them to the wall. Not many offices have the name of the business behind every employee at all times, as if they were going to turn around only to be assured that they were still working at the same place.

Anyway, the guy at bsquared was working away on a Macintosh running OS X, showing off his copy of the Adobe Creative Suite, and using a shiny new white Apple keyboard and mouse while viewing it all on a nice flatscreen LCD monitor. Very hip, very modern, somewhat nerdy, but a typical designer none the less.



Meanwhile, over on the winning yet dysfunctional team Synergy, we have no idea who they are working with as their design company seems almost embarrassed to show their name (and as we realize later, for good reason). All we know about this mystery business is that they:
  1. Use a HP laptop to browse the team's photos on.
  2. Work on an older G4 tower sitting on top of the boardroom table.
  3. Have the world's deepest CRT monitor taking up any remaining room.
  4. Store a huge photocopier/paper shredder/ice chest thing under the table.
  5. Utilize the slightly older and slightly less cool black & clear Apple keyboard & mouse from way back in the nineteen-nineties.
  6. Are running Mac OS 9 and what seems to be some old version of Quark or PageMaker and an ancient version of Photoshop.
  7. Help produce the losing brochure.



However, in the background of this one shot, eagle-eyed viewers will discover that this is in fact the very same company. What is still unclear is why this poor designer got stuck with the inferior computer, inferior software, inferior operating system, inferior monitor, inferior keyboard, inferior boardroom table, and ultimately, inferior team.

To give both designers credit, however, they were forced to put something together by a committee of potentially inexperienced people, which is bad enough already without the committee standing right behind you while you work. To top things off there is the small fact that millions of people all over the world will see your work and judge both you and your employer by how well you perform on a one-day, in-and-out, quickie project.

Graphic Design Lesson A: Get the latest hardware and software, and you will win. Always.

Graphic Design Lesson B: Touch a designer's computer screen, and you will lose. Always.

22 Comments:

Blogger Gus and Jen said...

Nick notices everything. Here's what Jen noticed: Andrea wears pink underpants, and I can see them.

Monday, May 01, 2006  
Blogger nick said...

Graphic Design Lesson C: Don't wear pink underpants because you might get fired like Andrea did.

I'm also pretty sure she used the phrase "graphics designer", which is just wrong.

Monday, May 01, 2006  
Blogger k_c said...

DON'T TOUCH MY SCREEN, BIATCH.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006  
Blogger spencer said...

Graphic Design Lesson B: Touch a designer's computer screen, and you will lose. Always.

hi-larious.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

This is too funny !! Damn right for Lesson B too...don't be jabbing your grubby fingers on my tight ass 23" inch flat panel.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006  
Anonymous Kyle said...

I have one of those super-deep CRT monitors sat to my left, and I personally think it's a misunderstood beast. Not to mention that you hurt his feelings with that comment.


Still, it's nice to know that this just reinforces how far behind OS 9 and associated software is. Perhaps they had a backhander from Apple?

Tuesday, May 16, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Graphic Design Lesson B: Touch a designer's computer screen, and you will lose. A FINGER!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006  
Anonymous Alexandre Roche said...

Graphic Design Lesson A: Get the latest hardware and software, and you will win. Always.

I totally disagree. You will lose only if the hardware holds you back. And the software. But better equitment doesn't make you a better designer. That's a ridiculous assumption.

Tuesday, May 16, 2006  
Blogger Isaac said...

That's great. I would have been miserable working with so many people in the room let alone on old, crapp hardware/software. Thanks for the post. DON'T TOUCH MY SCREEN!

Tuesday, May 16, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

How is this interesting or funny? You yanks are retarded.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Man, what a crappy depiction of what graphic design is.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006  
Blogger nick said...

Wow, what is with all the haters?

To clear some things up:

1) I don't actually believe that better software means better design. Trust me, we've been using Quark 4.1 in Classic mode here at the office for the last 4 years, I feel their pain.

2) I use a honking big CRT monitor at work, complete with a giant Mr. Burns-style-cover-the-entire-sun visor to keep ambient light off of it. It works, its fine, and it vibrates when someone uses the microwave.

2) I'm not a Yank, I'm a Canuck.

Wednesday, May 17, 2006  
Anonymous Amy said...

It's so tough to tell the difference between those accents, especially when they're written down! ;)

I worked at a client site for a number of years, and that shot with 15 people standing behind the designer is scarily familiar to me. Since keeping a monitor wipe handy and wiping my monitor in front of the offending grubby fingerprinter didn't get the message across I eventually resorted to a bit red note stuck on the front "PLEASE DO NOT TOUCH MY MONITOR".

I'm glad to have found other GDAGFP. (Graphic Designers Against Grubby Fingerprinters).

Wednesday, May 17, 2006  
Anonymous s0| g|0 said...

Graphic Design Lesson B: Touch a designer's computer screen, and you will lose. Always.

Sooo true. I wish computer screens came with an alarm system that sounded off when the figure started moving in and one of those protective panels came down....

Thursday, May 18, 2006  
Blogger darthmoridin said...

This is nothing new. A year ago I got to spend the weekend in NYC as part of the Star Wars Apprentice episode from last season. Our company was split into 2 teams to service the 2 Apprentice teams. We had to use a large rented studio in Chelsea instead of our actual offices (which are in California). We had our logos up on the walls, but not as many or as effectively as besquared obviously. Any mention of our actual name was edited out of the show, and in fact if you watch, you'll get the impression that we're LucasFilm's design team (we're not). And I presonally made it into the back of one shot for a good 4 frames, and my team won! I think that means I've got 14:59 minutes left.

Thursday, May 18, 2006  
Anonymous Tony Goff said...

I do quite often feel like shooting the people standing behind me pointing at the screen and to be honest I'm amazed that I haven't done so yet. I guess the sad truth of the matter is that at somepoint in the design process you learn to artwork...

Friday, May 19, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

b-squared isn't even a real design firm...they're used mostly for digital printing...i wouldn't go there for design!

Friday, May 19, 2006  
Blogger Paul Wilde L'Heureux said...

I used to have a pair of 21" CRTs at the agency I worked at that would give a pretty decent shock whenever you touched it. Made a great deterrent for grubby fingers. Sadly, my new LCDs aren't as lucky.

Saturday, May 20, 2006  
Anonymous Juan said...

I can sympathize with the whole touch my monitor thing. I cringe every time someone touches the LCD of my Powerbook... It's a good thing these are paying clients.. otherwise I'd smack them silly.

Sunday, May 21, 2006  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I was working with a draftsperson (set designer) who still works with pencil and a drawing board. I was translating his designs in a CAD package, and he used a pencil to point at my Cinema Display. I guess the display is so good that he forgot that it wasn't paper, and actually started to lightly sketch on the sceen.

When I pointed out what he was doing, it was almost like he got an electric shock, and he was very apologetic. He's a nice guy, so it won't be held against him.

Old habits die hard. Draftspeople sketch on everything. In a way, I would prefer my screen to be scratched with a smart person's pencil, than have a mouth-breathing moron put their greasy fingerprints on it in some meaningless gesture they don't even understand.

Sunday, May 21, 2006  
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Thursday, December 07, 2006  
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Tuesday, June 17, 2008  

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